Lesson One: Resilient and Connected Parents
Magnifying is making something appear bigger than it really is.
This can be useful when eyes need to see details that seem out of focus or hard to grasp from the current perspective. We hope you find solutions to the challenges and joys of raising your teens by looking closer at what already exists in your family structure and enhancing it.
Your instructors are undergraduate Brigham Young University –Idaho students and fellow parents. Meet Katy and Julie here:
Katy
Julie
What will you learn from this course?
The course will be presented in four lessons that will cover the following topics and goals:
Topic: Goal:
Lesson 1: Parental Resilience | Understand how to support teens by starting with your own resilience |
Lesson 2: Adolescent Development and Parenting Skills | Understand the impactful role parents play in the development and competency of teens |
Lesson 3: Strengthening Social and Emotional Competence | Understand how attitudes and praise will strengthen teen competencies socially and emotionally |
Lesson 4: Building systems in the family and community | Understand how to build communities and utilize family councils |
We hope you find solutions to the challenges and joys of raising your teens by looking closer at what already exists in your family structure and enhancing it.
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Lesson One: Parental Resilience
Lesson number one starts with you. Parents play a crucial role in supporting and increasing resilience in teens. In fact, one positive relationship with a parent can act as a protective factor and reduce the likelihood of problems (Arnett, 2018). Our goal is to help parents understand how to be involved in supporting teens in developing resilience by understanding their own.
In this first lesson, we will cover these areas:
Let us take a closer look at family life protective factors to build resilience and gain confidence in your own ability as a parent.
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Resilience
What is resilience?
Resilience has been recognized by the American Psychology Association (APA) as a skill that can be learned and is defined as successfully processing and adapting to those challenges that impact life (APA, 2023).
Over the past years, our global community has opened in ways we never anticipated. A worldwide pandemic, while creating serious stress in family and individual lives, expanded our ability to view what resilience does to bolster and strengthen people during unavoidable challenges and risks.
A global challenge of this magnitude opened the minds of scientists to learn more about what other families are struggling with in raising children and give us valuable feedback for creating resiliency in our homes. Within family units, parents and adults took on new roles from teacher to caregiver, all while balancing a stressful situation and the responsibilities of providing for families. Resilience was a factor in positive psychological functioning during pandemic studies of adults (Kavcic et al., 2021). Protective factors in strengthening adults also strengthen families.
Why enhance or study resilience?
1 in 5 Teens experience significant emotional distress, and nearly 1 in 10 Teens are emotionally impaired. The most common and persistent mental health challenges adolescents experience are depression and anxiety. Research has shown that family resilience is linked to fewer and better outcomes for struggling teens. Middle school students taught social and emotional skills programs had better resilience, communication, emotional regulation, decision-making, and problem-solving skills than their counterparts. (Green et al., 2021) A better understanding of resilience is needed to promote healthy development in adolescents who are at risk for serious mental health challenges (Mesman et al., 2021).
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The Five Factors
How to support resilience:
One way to build family resilience is through the Strengthening Families Approach, which focuses on five protective factors.
Watch this video to learn more about the factors to support youth:
These five factors apply to the family system and the community. As we work throughout the lesson, pay close attention to how these factors interweave into what we will learn about parenting styles and the pyramid.
Building resilience starts with a foundation in understanding what kind of parent we are and gaining knowledge of parenting skills to support our efforts in raising children. In the teen years, this becomes more crucial with the constant changes of adolescents. It may feel like we need some superpower to get teens through their adolescent years and become competent adults.
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Parenting Styles
Sir Francis Bacon said, "Knowledge is power” (Monticello).
Dr. Gottman (psychologist and emotional intelligence advocate) said becoming a parent "like most every road to personal growth and mastery - begins with self-examination" (Gottman, 2019). As you study parenting styles, notice your style and what style you recognize from your family of origin. Sometimes we use distinctive styles in different situations with our families.
[Image Accessed: https://sustainingcommunity.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/what-are-parenting-styles/]
Four parenting styles combine two dimensions: how controlling and demanding (strict) parents are and how responsive (warm) they are. Authoritative parents are warm but firm. They encourage independence while setting firm boundaries. Authoritative parents engage in an ongoing conversation with their adolescents. They listen and consider their teens' point of view. Authoritarian parents show little warmth and are highly demanding and controlling. They do not engage in discussions with their teens; they expect to have the last say in regard to family rules and expectations. Permissive parents are warm but have no demands or expectations of their teens. They are indulgent and passive in their parenting. Uninvolved parents show no warmth and have no demands. They minimize interaction and time spent with their teens.
We have learned that building connections is important to building resilience. A study was done that linked the impact of parenting styles on adolescent resilience. The study found that parents who engaged in authoritative parenting had teens who felt connected and close to their parents and that teens of authoritative parenting were more resilient.
Check out this short online quiz that was created by Active Parenting Publishers. It gives parents an idea of their dominant parenting style, excluding uninvolved parents.
ACTION: How do I build resilience?
(image from https://isessay.com/reflective-writing-service/)
· What did you notice in the quiz about your parenting style?
· Did the results surprise you or support your current knowledge?
· Are there parts of your parenting style you can adjust or magnify to build resilience and connection with your teen?
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Parenting Pyramid
We will take a moment to share another way to build your parental resilience with a pyramid. Look at the parenting pyramid below. Notice the foundation at the bottom. It again starts with you. Before you ever reach the top, the layers build upon a foundation where you are highly involved.
[Image Accessed: https://content.byui.edu/file/91e7c911-20c5-4b9f-b8fc-9e4b1b37b6fc/1/Parenting_Pyramid_article.pdf]
One of the main principles associated with the Parenting Pyramid is that the solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid lies below that section. It is important to build a solid foundation, a “personal way of being.” A parent’s ‘way of being’ includes building resilience within themselves.
Read this article by the Arbinger Company. (Feel free to highlight and annotate the article in the top corner of the browser where the three dots are located.)
Answer these three questions as you read:
· What two types of questions do parents ask?
· What is the foundation of the pyramid? Why?
· What three levels did the author suggest starting with when there is a need for drastic correction?
Just as children need parents and caregivers to build relationships, adults must know they are not alone. The strengthening of relationships is a valuable part of the parenting pyramid. We will talk more in-depth in the series about some strategies for building a support system, but for now, understanding the value of fostering meaningful relationships between spouses, children, extended family, close friends, and even communities is a worthwhile investment of time and effort to build resilience.
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Conclusion:
As you have learned about the role of resilience in managing stress and challenges in families, we encourage you to review the notes and ideas you have felt will increase your resilience. Parenting is based on a personal way of being or the quality of our hearts.
As you magnify your ability to stand steadfast as a parent and build confidence in your abilities during the course, remember that it takes time to connect ideas and actions. Be patient with yourself and your teens while you both navigate the waves of adolescence and life experiences that you will encounter. You do not have to be a perfect parent, just a present one.
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What is coming next?
Feedback:
This course has been created by students for a final capstone class in teaching family life education.
Your feedback will help us learn and improve for future lessons in the course and support the process of becoming a family life educator. We value your insights and would love to hear from you, the participant.
Please take a few short moments to respond to this quick form. A similar form will be found at the end of each lesson. It should take under 5 minutes to complete. Thank you!
References
American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Resilience. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience
The Arbinger Company. (1998). The Parenting Pyramid. https://content.byui.edu/file/91e7c911-20c5-4b9f-b8fc-9e4b1b37b6fc/1/Parenting_Pyramid_article.pdf
Arnett, J. (2018). Protective factors. B. Piko, & e. Kovacs, Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood. (p.409). Pearson Education, Inc.
Carr, D., Sheffler, J., Meynadasy, M., Schmidt, B., Hajcak, G., & Sachs-Ericsson, N. (2023). A longitudinal examination of the protective effect of resilience against anxiety among older adults with high COVID-related worry. Cognitive behavior therapy, 52(5), 419–437. https://doi.org/10.1080/16506073.2023.2191825
Choi, J. (2021). The moderating role of family resilience in the relationship of bully victimization, adverse childhood experiences, and poverty status to adolescents’ internalizing disorders. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 32(5), 745-762. https://doi.org/10/1080/10926771.2022.2074329
Coffield, C., & Srinivasavaradan, S. M. A. D. (2021, January). Building Resilience: RESOURCES TO HELP FAMILIES GROW FROM CHALLENGING TIMES. The Exceptional Parent, 51(1), 33+. https://link-gale-com.byui.idm.oclc.org/apps/doc/A651094342/PPPC?u=byuidaho&sid=bookmark-PPPC&xid=2615c8e8
Durakis Executive Search. (2023). Connections [image]. Making Connections in Executive Search and Beyond. Retrieved October 13, 2023, from https://durakis.com/making-connections-executive-search-beyond/.
Du Y., Dang Q., Zhang B., Wu R., & Rasool A. (2021). The effects of parenting differences on psychological resilience in adolescent students: The role of gratitude, Children and youth services review. 130 (106224). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2021.106224.
Firoze, H. & Sathat, S.K.P. (2018). Impact of parenting styles on adolescent resilience. Indian Journal of Health and Well-being, 9(7), 937-944. https://web.s.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=0&sid=d412718d-764e-4c61-a2d4-e855eb2b741f%40redis
Green, A. L., Ferrante, S., Boaz, T. L., Kutash, K., & Wheeldon-Reece, B. (2021). Social and Emotional Learning during Early Adolescence: Effectiveness of a Classroom-Based SEL Program for Middle School Students. Psychology in the Schools, 58(6), 1056–1069. https://doi.org/10.1002/pits.22487
Knopf, D., Park, M. J., & Mulye, T. P. (2008). The mental health of adolescents: A national profile, 2008. N A H I C national adolescent health information center. https://nahic.ucsf.edu/. https://nahic.ucsf.edu/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/2008-Mental-Health-Brief.pdf
Knowledge is power (quotation). Monticello. (n.d.). https://www.monticello.org/research-education/thomas-jefferson-encyclopedia/knowledge-power-quotation/#:~:text=The%20phrase%20%22knowledge%20is%20power,a%20state%20university%20in%20Virginia.
Mesman, E., Vreeker, A., Hillegers, M. (2021). Resilience and mental health in children and adolescents: an update of the recent literature and future directions. Curr Opin Psychiatry 34(6), 586-592. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8500371/
Parenting styles and adolescents - @countrysideday.org. (n.d.). https://www.countrysideday.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parenting-Styles-and-Adolescents.pdf
Parenting quiz. Active Parenting. (2023, May 31). https://activeparenting.com/for-parents/parenting-quiz/#anchor2145
Strengthening families. Center for the Study of Social Policy. (2021a, January 19). https://cssp.org/our-work/project/strengthening-families/
Stuart, G. (2015). Parenting Styles [image]. What are authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved and authoritative parenting styles? Sustaining Community. Retrieved October 13, 2023, from https://sustainingcommunity.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/what-are-parenting-styles/.
YouTube. (2021). The five protective and promotive factors [video]. Retrieved October 25, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUAKgvwFG3A.
Zolkoski, S. M., & Bullock, L. M. (2012). Resilience in children and youth: A review. Children and Youth Services Review, 34(12), 2295-2303.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2012.08.009
Thanks for the reminder about the parenting pyramid. I had forgotten about that, but I see that will help me with some of my current challenges.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about something that you were able to take away! It means so much to us that it made an impact. We would absolutely love to hear how you apply the parenting pyramid and it helps with some of your current parent challenges! Parenting is HARD and we love that you joined us for the lesson. Thank you.
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